Hurst Family: A Baby Story

I can't wait and write later, I have to get my thoughts down when I'm having them.  That's how I cope.  And I don't have any problem at all being an open book -- it helps me.  And that's why I do it, for me.  If you have any comments or a response to this post, please let it be positive and hopeful. All I know at this point is that I'm definitely not pregnant (all informative details aside).  I've looked up a couple different things online varying from chemical pregnancy to early miscarriage (which seem to be the exact same thing).  I'm currently awaiting a phone call from Dr. Jarrett telling me what to do next. I don't really have any feelings right now.  But I'm not numb, either.  I'm very aware of the situation and honestly, it is what it is.  It's odd that I feel at peace with it all.  Sometimes the roller coaster just needs to end, and maybe some day we'll try again and the roller coaster will end on a high note.  I don...

Today's results were a bit of a relief.  My HCG levels are at 45.  They haven't quite doubled like Dr. Jarrett wanted to see, but they were almost there!  He's having me come back in Monday morning to test again and they are hoping my HCG level will be in the 150-180 range.  I'm finally convinced.  I AM PREGNANT!  Over the past week or so, I've been having really vivid dreams at night.  It's been really weird....  Like, I will fall asleep and immediately start dreaming about something or someone crazy and when I wake up I remember all the details.  This happens about 3-4 times a night, and is not normal for me.  I've also had really bad "metal mouth" for the past 3 days or so and I've been having really bad headaches.  I had some serious headaches early on in my pregnancy with Khloe and actually took a few sick days at work for migraines.  Luckily, that was about the only problem or sickness I had during my pregnancy with her...

Let me back track a bit... I tend to be a little impatient.  And given the brutality of this process, I feel that though my patience is tested, I try very hard to sit back and watch God do his thing.  That being said, I only took three at home pregnancy tests before going in for my blood draw today.  (Sarcastic emphasis on the "only")  When I got pregnant with Khloe, I tested a few days before going in for my blood draw and the at home test read positive.  That was my first and only positive pregnancy test to date.  The three tests I took over the weekend all read negative.  I spent yesterday angry and bitter and only chatted with a couple of my closest friends about how I was feeling.  I was preparing myself for the ultimate result today.  I wanted to be ready for the call from the doctor saying that my results were negative and I wanted to be prepared to confirm my follow up appointment to discuss everything and when or if we should proce...

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a while, especially while undergoing this IVF process.  I finished up those big Progesterone shots a couple days ago, and since then I've started to feel a little more normal and my energy level is starting to rise.  Yesterday, I was up at 4:45am, coached Mack and Nina through a fun workout, grocery shopped, had breakfast and a shower all before Kellen or Khloe got out of bed.  I'm thankful I had such a great start to the day, because the rest of the morning and afternoon was abnormally challenging with my little terrific-three-year-old toddler who had to miss her gymnastics class because all of her clothes give her wedgies.  (Long story, I'll spare you.) Kellen came home from work early to take Khloe off my hands.  Soon after, he, Khloe and Uncle Josh were off for a little Khloe/Daddy/Uncle date night to Pizza King and an animated kid movie that Khloe LOVED and Daddy and Uncle Josh powered through like champs. B...

Good morning everyone!  It's 2pm and I just woke up from a 4 1/2 hour Valium induced nap.  I mean, the doctor did say bed rest for 48 hours, so BOOM, nailing it. What in the freak just happened this morning?!  I've already given you guys the background story, right?  So you all probably understand why I had anxiety all week, but I'll say it again quickly.  We've had 3 previous IVF cycles.  2 failed, 1 was Khloe.  Every one of those cycles, we had multiple fertilized embryos, maybe 6-8, on day 1 after the egg retrieval.  This cycle was different.  We only had 2 that had fertilized, so I was scared to death all week thinking that there was absolutely no way just 2 embryos were going to survive let alone get to the quality we would need them to be at by transfer day, which is 5 days post retrieval.  When I did get pregnant with Khloe, we had transferred 3 embryos.  So....this news was a huge blow. At this point in the process, ever...

Two more sleeps until we go in for our transfer.  My anxiety level actually dropped significantly yesterday when I made a follow up phone call to the nurse to get an update and have her repeat what she had said the day before.  [Yes, I am that person.]  When they originally called me Tuesday morning with the "fertilization report", it was early and I was still half asleep and drugged up on pain pills.  So, I just wanted to hear it all again and see if there were any new details.  I have distant memories of our old clinic calling us a few different times after the egg retrieval to give us an update on our embryos.  It always seemed that with each passing day, one would quit growing and then maybe one would lose quality, etc.  I was pleasantly surprised and left at ease when she told me that they did not have an update and would not know any more until the morning of the transfer, at which time they would take a look at the embryos and bring them out f...

Maybe it's because I know too much.  This process is grueling.  Infertility, although a great medical blessing to my family, is not for the weak-hearted.  I've prided myself many, many times over and over again on my inability to worry about things.  "Kellen is the worrier, not me," I say.  I am the optimist.  I examine the situation and am the one who says "What can we control here and what is out of our hands?"  Although I can examine and breakdown a situation quickly, I still struggle with those that are out of my control.  Especially when the outcome could overwhelmingly cause massive joy to my heart or break it down to shreds and then drop them at my feet.  But the reality of the situation is that we have 2 embryos today.  That is the least amount of embryos we've ever came away with after day 1 of fertilization.  That's out of 4 total IVF cycles, with only one (my sweet Khloe) being successful.  This is why it's such a ...

My first reaction is to worry and get upset because all isn't going according to the perfect plan I had outlined in my head.  But I know that worrying is the opposite of faith, and I have to have faith that this process is in God's hands and the outcome will be exactly what He wants it to be, according to His perfect plan. The embryologist called me this morning with news on fertilization.  They were able to inject 4 out of my 6 eggs.  This morning, 2 had fertilized.  [Note to self: Don't freak out.] I'm scheduled for a day 5 transfer, which will be Saturday morning.  Please pray for our two little embryos to survive, grow and thrive over these next four days in the lab!

Hi everyone!  I'm currently on morphine and norco pain meds!  {YIKES} Surgery went very well this morning.  Dr. Jarrett was able to retrieve 6 eggs.  I was a little bummed with that number, but he was happy and optimistic.  I'll get a phone call tomorrow morning with a fertilization report.  I hope and pray that all 6 eggs will fertilize and we'll get a report back that we have 6 thriving embryos.  Now, all I plan to do is rest and recover, make it out for a movie tonight with our friends, and wait for that phone call tomorrow! Thanks for the prayers! <3

Last night, I set my alarm to wake up at 1am and take my Lupron trigger shot.  That was fun. [insert sarcasm here] This morning, I headed back to the fertility clinic bright and early to have my blood drawn so they can make sure I'm responding to the Lupron.  Today will very likely be the absolute brute of this entire process.  My ovaries are at the peak of stimulation.  And this shot I took at 1am will get ovulation started.  The nurse I met with during my two separate visits to the fertility clinic yesterday, Courtney was her name, was fantastic.  She's had two separate IVF pregnancies and was so great to talk to and so helpful and informative.  We talked a little about over-stimulation of the ovaries and how I may feel or how my body might respond at different points in this process.  I had a little bit of an epiphany when she said that one might look and feel 4-6 months pregnant just during these first weeks of the IVF process.  It make...

Today show's Style Editor, Bobbie Thomas said this in a recent interview about her journey with IVF and I'm pretty sure she took the words right out of my mouth.  I don't follow other infertility blogs or really read all that much about the process that other people go through (I used to, just not anymore), but I received this article in my email today and reading it made me feel so much better.  At this point in the IVF cycle, I know I have a couple more days to go with increasing medications and symptoms so each day feels slightly worse than the previous.  Hearing the story of someone else really helps me feel at ease with the process and like I'm not just all alone, trapped in my own head, feeling crazy.  These could be my words: You’re usually a very private person. What made you decide to go public? "People don’t understand, like, IF you can afford it, IF you can suck it up and get through all the shots and the doctor appointments and the surgery, you a...

I'm really, really uncomfortable.  I'm sad, mad, happy and laughing all within a matter of minutes and I find that once I've officially hit that higher level of "crazy" I tend to just keep to myself because this amount of crazy cannot handle regular, real-world situations.  I'm also extremely tired and sleeping a lot.  "It's just going to get worse," says the nurse.  Yes, yes, I know that. The appointment this morning showed that I was responding to the medication, but not as quickly as the protocol had suggested.  This means that the egg retrieval will be pushed back a couple of days.  I was instructed to continue with the current protocol and come back in Wednesday morning for another ultrasound and blood draw. That's it, folks.  Carry on.

I'm on day four of my morning Menopure and Bravelle shot and I'm feeling A-OKay.  Well, minus the car ride home from the airport yesterday when I started to get a minor headache and feel a little motion sickness and nauseous.  This process makes me feel so cooped up and stuck in my body like a little lab rat.  I sometimes get these really strong desires to barge out of my front door parodying Rocky Balboa and go ham in the gym, or save a little old lady in distress or something heroic like that.  But I'd have to be able to save her in 5 minutes or less, because those desires don't last all that long.  Soon enough, I'm ready to crash on the couch and watch Zig and Sharko with Khloe and her blanket.  Anyways...  And then, when I went to bed late last night, my head was spinning and the motion sickness was still lingering.  (Actually, just talking about it is making me feel it again.)  When my eyes are closed, my head spins slowly and in large...