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Serious Case of Sticker Shock

It wasn't today, it was yesterday...in the middle of the afternoon, right before I had to leave to coach all evening.  I returned a phone call to the specialty pharmacy with whom we are working with to overnight our meds for our next IVF cycle.  Hearing the cost of the meds alone literally made my heart stop beating for a second.  I know Dr. Jarrett is expensive, but I also believe he is the best.  He more than doubled my medication for this round, which means cost will more than double -- almost triple.  It is a gamble, spending our money on a procedure that may or may not produce a healthy pregnancy.  After paying over the phone, I hung up, stared at the wall for what felt like 30 seconds and then broke into tears. 

So many thoughts are running through my head.  But overcoming the cloudiness in my brain is this sense of peace.  I feel led to do this.  And I am so thankful that I feel that way, because that is the answer I've been praying for and something I've asked my friends to be praying for as well.  I don't necessarily feel like the outcome will be all sunshine and rainbows with a perfect amount of embryos followed by an undeniable pregnancy announcement and delivery of a healthy baby.  But I trust that this is the path God is wanting me to take at this time in my life.  It's scary to think of all the different outcomes this procedure may lead to, but I trust Him and I'm at peace with it all. 

Two more days then this party get's started.

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