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BTWG and Being Normal Again

It's Friday night, 11pm, and I'm writing a blog post.  Take note, because this is what cool kids do.

I know it's a little late notice, but I did go in for my FINAL blood draw this past Monday and found that my HCG level had dropped to a 3.  The nurse basically said "that's it, you're done."  Dr. Jarrett called me personally the following day and left me a nice voice message.  He called to check on me, tell me that he was happy my levels finally dropped all the way down, and said we could get into another IVF round as soon as we were ready.  I could tell he was sitting there looking over my charts because as soon as he said that he retracted it and said "actually, with the methotrexate, let's wait one more month."  That chemo shot is serious business.  We have to wait until I have a full cycle and we are sure the chemo is out of my body entirely before attempting to turn me back into a chemically unbalanced, hormonal lab rat.  I'm not sure if I'm ready for it yet anyways, but I think we will get going as soon as Dr. Jarrett gives us the go-ahead.  I know that deep down I can't be ready for something to start again when, just a few days ago, all I wanted was for it to be over.

While we are in this waiting period of "normalcy," Kellen and I have decided to apply to join a wellness program called Bridging The Wellness Gap.  Tomorrow we will wrap up week one, which wasn't much more than tracking your food and showing a good representation of what you've been consistently doing, whether it be healthy or not.  We started the program last Saturday with a fitness test, a life quality test, and Bod Pod test.  The Bod Pod was so cool!  It looked like an oversized egg big enough to fit a human inside.  Individually, we sat very still inside this egg machine while it accurately measured our body fat, amongst other things.  Having taken much time off from working out at the gym and having been much more flexible with my diet while I recently underwent IVF treatment I was so sure that my body fat would be high, along with my weight.  The results showed that, at 5'6" I am 144lbs with 18.8% body fat.  That leaves me with 81.2% or 117.167lbs of fat free mass.  I fell into the "lean" category which ranges from 18.1%-22%.  I was extremely happy with that -- blown away, actually.  I met with the nutritionist who didn't have much to say but "keep doing what you're doing."  Unfortunately, what she doesn't know is that my energy levels have been abnormally low (which could be the result of being sick and a directly related symptom to the IVF cycle I underwent recently) and I deal with fatigue a lot more than I'd like.  I spent a good amount of last summer following Carb Nite Solution and dropped down to 127lbs.  I can't imagine what my body fat would have been last July, but I bet it was at an all time low.  Since those days, I've resorted back to keeping a lower (or ultra low) carb diet to keep my body fat low while managing several control or carb loading days in between.  It has become much too easy to rely on artificial sweeteners for my coffee and those delish Atkins and Quest bars.  I know that I'm not getting enough vegetables and nutrients because I eat a diet that is very heavy in protein and fat.  One of my goals throughout this program is to better manage my diet and incorporate whole foods that will fill me up, make me feel good, and keep my body fat within the 16-18% range.  I was told that they don't like to see women drop below 18.1% body fat -- because dropping below that would put you in the "ultra lean" category but it can also cause problems within the female body and reproductive system, which is obviously something I'd like to avoid.

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