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You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

This is totally going to throw you for a loop.

One of the nurses at Dr. Jarrett's office called me Monday night at 5:30pm.  You see, I was originally scheduled to have a blood draw on Monday, but after talking to the nurse Saturday and determining that this cycle was over due to the fact that nature had moved on to the next cycle, I assumed the Monday blood draw was no longer required.  On Saturday, I took a home pregnancy test to be certain it was negative.  The test I took was a First Response, which can detect HCG levels as low as 25.  If in fact my number had been increasing (the Thursday prior my HCG was at 45) or even remained the same, the test should have read "pregnant," but it didn't.

The call from the nurse was to let me know that I still needed to come in and have my levels checked again.  Even if the cycle had failed, they needed to see those number go down.  This made sense to me, especially considering they only had results showing my HCG increasing.  So this morning, Tuesday, I went and had my blood drawn.

The nurse called me this evening around 4:30pm and told me my HCG level was up to 75.  What in the FREAKING freak does that even mean?!  [I didn't really say that]  But I did say, "what does that even mean!?" knowing that, at this point, pregnancy was nearly impossible.  She responded, "Well.  I don't know.... you are bleeding, right?"  [Sorry - TMI]  "Um, yes, since Friday."  I went in to more details about the weekend and the excruciating cramps I had experienced and other typical symptoms. 

She said Dr. Jarrett wants to see me and check things out, so we set an appointment for this Thursday at 12:30pm.  I am also to have my blood drawn before I get there. 

Who knows what's going on, but realistically at this point we're hoping for that HCG number to drop by Thursday and for my system to get back to normal.  Having not yet talked to Dr. Jarrett, its hard to say, but [IMO] a inital HCG of 25 last Tuesday and one week later having an HCG of 75, that increase really isn't enough to constitute a positive test or healthy pregnancy.  I try not to turn to google, but seriously.....I'm just left sitting here wondering what the heck is going on in my uterus.  I just want an answer....a definitive answer, already.  Is pregnancy even possible at this point?  Anything is possible!  Likely though?   I don't think so.

We'll see where Thursday takes us.  I'm open to hearing any feedback from anyone who may have had similar experiences or has some sort of medical opinion.  At least entertain me while I wait....again.  ;-)

My hope right now is that the thoroughness of Dr. Jarrett after this cycle is going to determine more information about the outcome and possibly provide us with better insight and answers before we make any future attempts.

Comments

  1. I don't know you but I found your page on a google search a few weeks ago and have been reading your journey. Read this post and I prayed for you that this would be a miracle of God and if this is in His will, there will be a continued healthy pregnancy! My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 6 long years. When we started our journey, I just prayed that I would never have to do IVF/fertility treatments. Fast forward..I am diagnosed with PCOS/anovulation ; all other tests were fine, Clomid unsuccessful and I was told by my doc that after all we have done, it will be difficult for my husband and I to conceive naturally. I'm confused because the desire for children is so strong in my heart, and Ive prayed countlessly to God that if this wasn't in His will for me, why is there such a burning desire within me!? I have no answers, and my desire has not changed one bit, we're in the middle of deciding whether or not to pursue IVF...i don't exactly know what is stopping me , maybe the fear of the unknown has gripped me? There are a lot of what ifs in my mind? The toll it takes on my body. Putting my job on hold. Finances. I don't know how or when, but I am trusting in God to see us through this. Know that you are SO blessed in having a child and that you are called Mom. I am praying for you!!
    In His Love,
    Ash

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    Replies
    1. Hey Ash! Thank you so much for the prayers. We've also been experiencing the infertility journey on and off for 6 years. I'm so, so thankful for having conceived my 3 year old daughter via IVF back in 2011. She came after a failed IUI and a failed IVF cycle. I've had two failed IVF cycles since having her - this past one failing with a chemical pregnancy. It's such a hard thing to experience and I totally understand your fear of not knowing whether or not to begin. My first failed cycle sent me into months of depression. We began a second try at IVF 5 months after and ended up with my daughter. I spent nearly 2 years feeling normal, just being a mom. It was an AMAZING feeling being able to leave the world of infertility for that short time. But now I'm back, and those feelings are the same. It is just as hard now as it was before. The only thing that makes it easier is knowing that God has already made me a mother, and that was what was breaking my heart before having my daughter. For me, IVF gives me hope. I have that same desire in my heart that you described. It makes me think that God does has a plan for me. I don't know when, but I think it will come when He wants it to come. I'll keep you in my prayers!

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