I can't wait and write later, I have to get my thoughts down when I'm having them. That's how I cope. And I don't have any problem at all being an open book -- it helps me. And that's why I do it, for me. If you have any comments or a response to this post, please let it be positive and hopeful.
All I know at this point is that I'm definitely not pregnant (all informative details aside). I've looked up a couple different things online varying from chemical pregnancy to early miscarriage (which seem to be the exact same thing). I'm currently awaiting a phone call from Dr. Jarrett telling me what to do next.
I don't really have any feelings right now. But I'm not numb, either. I'm very aware of the situation and honestly, it is what it is. It's odd that I feel at peace with it all. Sometimes the roller coaster just needs to end, and maybe some day we'll try again and the roller coaster will end on a high note.
I don't at all want to discount the prayers and miraculous results we've had during this past month. I believe that our prayers were answered and we were given positive results. But I also believe that the embryo(s) wasn't implanting well and may have been defective in some way. We will still hope and pray for a healthy pregnancy in our future.
And, really, I am fine...I really am. I don't want sadness and pity and sorrowful comments.....so please, please don't. It doesn't make me feel better, it makes me sad, and I don't want to be sad. I want to be hopeful and I want to look ahead to better things in my future. I think others, including Kellen, are taking it much harder than me. I'm grateful to have not had an unhealthy pregnancy and I still have hope. I've had two failed IVF rounds since having Khloe, and neither has hit me that hard. I mean, I have Khloe. I'm already a mom. That's what I wanted more than anything. I would really appreciate continued prayers for success in our future. I really appreciate everyone's support and prayers - you all mean more to me than you know.
All I know at this point is that I'm definitely not pregnant (all informative details aside). I've looked up a couple different things online varying from chemical pregnancy to early miscarriage (which seem to be the exact same thing). I'm currently awaiting a phone call from Dr. Jarrett telling me what to do next.
I don't really have any feelings right now. But I'm not numb, either. I'm very aware of the situation and honestly, it is what it is. It's odd that I feel at peace with it all. Sometimes the roller coaster just needs to end, and maybe some day we'll try again and the roller coaster will end on a high note.
I don't at all want to discount the prayers and miraculous results we've had during this past month. I believe that our prayers were answered and we were given positive results. But I also believe that the embryo(s) wasn't implanting well and may have been defective in some way. We will still hope and pray for a healthy pregnancy in our future.
And, really, I am fine...I really am. I don't want sadness and pity and sorrowful comments.....so please, please don't. It doesn't make me feel better, it makes me sad, and I don't want to be sad. I want to be hopeful and I want to look ahead to better things in my future. I think others, including Kellen, are taking it much harder than me. I'm grateful to have not had an unhealthy pregnancy and I still have hope. I've had two failed IVF rounds since having Khloe, and neither has hit me that hard. I mean, I have Khloe. I'm already a mom. That's what I wanted more than anything. I would really appreciate continued prayers for success in our future. I really appreciate everyone's support and prayers - you all mean more to me than you know.
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