Today's results were a bit of a relief. My HCG levels are at 45. They haven't quite doubled like Dr. Jarrett wanted to see, but they were almost there! He's having me come back in Monday morning to test again and they are hoping my HCG level will be in the 150-180 range.
I'm finally convinced. I AM PREGNANT! Over the past week or so, I've been having really vivid dreams at night. It's been really weird.... Like, I will fall asleep and immediately start dreaming about something or someone crazy and when I wake up I remember all the details. This happens about 3-4 times a night, and is not normal for me. I've also had really bad "metal mouth" for the past 3 days or so and I've been having really bad headaches. I had some serious headaches early on in my pregnancy with Khloe and actually took a few sick days at work for migraines. Luckily, that was about the only problem or sickness I had during my pregnancy with her.
I can't believe I fully convinced myself two times during this cycle that it was over and it had failed. The further we get into our 6 years of on-again-off-again fertility treatments, and with our odds increasingly working against us, the harder it is to go into these cycles with any bit of hope. The more you hope, the harder you fall, and the harder it hurts. But when you go through 6 years of this trying to build your family, a positive pregnancy test is the miracle of all miracles. Never in my pre-married life did I ever think I'd be on a journey like this, but honestly, I am so thankful for it. It has changed me as a person in so many ways, all for the better. I've read many times that infertility is hard on marriage. I actually feel the opposite with Kellen. This has always been "our" journey and we've purposefully put God at the head of it. This has strengthened our marriage and brought us both closer to God and strengthened our faith. I have so much peace and joy in my life thanks to God and this path He's led me on.
Those of you wondering how many kiddos have invaded my uterus will have to wait along with us until our ultrasound appointment, which is February 11th at 3:30pm. We're kinda wondering as well... I can't even make any comparisons anymore, because I've been doing that this entire month and have been proven wrong in all aspects.
I'm finally convinced. I AM PREGNANT! Over the past week or so, I've been having really vivid dreams at night. It's been really weird.... Like, I will fall asleep and immediately start dreaming about something or someone crazy and when I wake up I remember all the details. This happens about 3-4 times a night, and is not normal for me. I've also had really bad "metal mouth" for the past 3 days or so and I've been having really bad headaches. I had some serious headaches early on in my pregnancy with Khloe and actually took a few sick days at work for migraines. Luckily, that was about the only problem or sickness I had during my pregnancy with her.
I can't believe I fully convinced myself two times during this cycle that it was over and it had failed. The further we get into our 6 years of on-again-off-again fertility treatments, and with our odds increasingly working against us, the harder it is to go into these cycles with any bit of hope. The more you hope, the harder you fall, and the harder it hurts. But when you go through 6 years of this trying to build your family, a positive pregnancy test is the miracle of all miracles. Never in my pre-married life did I ever think I'd be on a journey like this, but honestly, I am so thankful for it. It has changed me as a person in so many ways, all for the better. I've read many times that infertility is hard on marriage. I actually feel the opposite with Kellen. This has always been "our" journey and we've purposefully put God at the head of it. This has strengthened our marriage and brought us both closer to God and strengthened our faith. I have so much peace and joy in my life thanks to God and this path He's led me on.
Those of you wondering how many kiddos have invaded my uterus will have to wait along with us until our ultrasound appointment, which is February 11th at 3:30pm. We're kinda wondering as well... I can't even make any comparisons anymore, because I've been doing that this entire month and have been proven wrong in all aspects.
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