Good morning everyone! It's 2pm and I just woke up from a 4 1/2 hour Valium induced nap. I mean, the doctor did say bed rest for 48 hours, so BOOM, nailing it.
What in the freak just happened this morning?! I've already given you guys the background story, right? So you all probably understand why I had anxiety all week, but I'll say it again quickly. We've had 3 previous IVF cycles. 2 failed, 1 was Khloe. Every one of those cycles, we had multiple fertilized embryos, maybe 6-8, on day 1 after the egg retrieval. This cycle was different. We only had 2 that had fertilized, so I was scared to death all week thinking that there was absolutely no way just 2 embryos were going to survive let alone get to the quality we would need them to be at by transfer day, which is 5 days post retrieval. When I did get pregnant with Khloe, we had transferred 3 embryos. So....this news was a huge blow.
At this point in the process, everything is out of everyone's hands. So, we pray.
This morning we showed up at Dr. Jarrett's office at 7:10am for our day 5 transfer. I was chugging my water because they said to drink 24-36 ounces so the bladder would be full and they could see better for the ultrasound they do while doing the transfer. I took my Valium as directed, and we walked in the door. This is a little weird, but every single time I walk in the door of lab upstairs (this is not Dr. Jarrett's office, this is the lab where all the procedures are done and I where we all get our blood drawn) the lady at the front desk say's "Hi Jen!" I mean, she's so chipper, and she knows my name...every single time. I don't know how I feel about being on first name basis with the blood draw lady. I hate needles, but she's nice.
Anyways.
I'm being nice to everyone but I feel like I'm also giving them this crazy eye look like "are you about to tell me some really bad news?" I just couldn't tell... they we're all being too nice. And here I am, being crazy lady. So the nurse calls me back and Kellen and I head to room 3 to fill out consent forms. He gets to put on blue booties on his shoes and a super hot blue hair net, and I get to put on a hospital gown, blue socks, and my blue hair net. He looks like a doctor and I look like an 80 year old woman. Just another reason why IVF is not fair.
After we get our consent forms filled out, the nurse takes the paper work, walks out, and the embryologist immediately walks in. She's all calm and collected...and she even had the nerve to smile at me. All I could think was, "please don't smile at me and then tell me I'm here for no reason because we've got nothing to work with." And I'm on this Valium thing...ugh, what a waste! My crazy eye is still in full force.
She starts talking and says, "We have two blastocysts (fancy talk for embryos that grew to a new stage). I know we talked about maybe transferring one..." WHAT! WAIT! TWO?! She goes on to tell us they are of a pretty high grade, something about a baby/placenta, and something about something else....all basically meaning WE'RE GOOD! Oh my gosh, when I heard the words "we have two" tears immediately swelled up in my eyes. I didn't even care about anything else. I just couldn't believe this news. Those little suckers lasted 4 days in the lab and grew on their own. All I know is that if we do get pregnant from this cycle, these kids are going to be some fighters.
I held back the bulk of my tears and continued to get ready for the transfer. We headed back to the room where the lights were low and this music was playing (Kellen mentioned it sounded like the stream on Netflix -- haha). It was very spa-like, minus the gyno appt. feeling and all the medical equipment sitting around. I had to walk to the window, which leads to the lab, and give my name and DOB. Then I had to saddle up on the table. Dr. Jarrett is so warm and calming. He has this way about him that is hard to explain, but his work is top level. We did transfer both blastocysts and within a matter of about 5 minutes, it was over. Dr. Jarrett grabbed my hand and wished me the best of luck. The doctor and nurses left the room and it was just Kellen and I, as I was to wait a few minutes before getting up. This is when I lost it. Have you ever had that overwhelming feeling like God just answered your prayers, and the hundreds of prayers from your friends and family? I couldn't believe that had just happened to me. Everyone who has followed this crazy story, and everyone who has said a prayer for us, I just want to hug you and tell you how much it truly means to me, and probably cry while I do it because it just means that much to me.
This process is something else. I'm so grateful for everyone who helps me get through it.
The next step is to wait. I continue to take 6 totals pills a day and one large shot at night. I'll go in to the lab, where the lady greets me by first name, on Jan 27th for a blood draw. They'll call me soon after to let me know what the results are. If they're positive, I'll go back in on the 29th for another blood draw. If this shows my levels to have risen, it means it's a healthy pregnancy.
God is oh so good.
What in the freak just happened this morning?! I've already given you guys the background story, right? So you all probably understand why I had anxiety all week, but I'll say it again quickly. We've had 3 previous IVF cycles. 2 failed, 1 was Khloe. Every one of those cycles, we had multiple fertilized embryos, maybe 6-8, on day 1 after the egg retrieval. This cycle was different. We only had 2 that had fertilized, so I was scared to death all week thinking that there was absolutely no way just 2 embryos were going to survive let alone get to the quality we would need them to be at by transfer day, which is 5 days post retrieval. When I did get pregnant with Khloe, we had transferred 3 embryos. So....this news was a huge blow.
At this point in the process, everything is out of everyone's hands. So, we pray.
This morning we showed up at Dr. Jarrett's office at 7:10am for our day 5 transfer. I was chugging my water because they said to drink 24-36 ounces so the bladder would be full and they could see better for the ultrasound they do while doing the transfer. I took my Valium as directed, and we walked in the door. This is a little weird, but every single time I walk in the door of lab upstairs (this is not Dr. Jarrett's office, this is the lab where all the procedures are done and I where we all get our blood drawn) the lady at the front desk say's "Hi Jen!" I mean, she's so chipper, and she knows my name...every single time. I don't know how I feel about being on first name basis with the blood draw lady. I hate needles, but she's nice.
Anyways.
I'm being nice to everyone but I feel like I'm also giving them this crazy eye look like "are you about to tell me some really bad news?" I just couldn't tell... they we're all being too nice. And here I am, being crazy lady. So the nurse calls me back and Kellen and I head to room 3 to fill out consent forms. He gets to put on blue booties on his shoes and a super hot blue hair net, and I get to put on a hospital gown, blue socks, and my blue hair net. He looks like a doctor and I look like an 80 year old woman. Just another reason why IVF is not fair.
After we get our consent forms filled out, the nurse takes the paper work, walks out, and the embryologist immediately walks in. She's all calm and collected...and she even had the nerve to smile at me. All I could think was, "please don't smile at me and then tell me I'm here for no reason because we've got nothing to work with." And I'm on this Valium thing...ugh, what a waste! My crazy eye is still in full force.
She starts talking and says, "We have two blastocysts (fancy talk for embryos that grew to a new stage). I know we talked about maybe transferring one..." WHAT! WAIT! TWO?! She goes on to tell us they are of a pretty high grade, something about a baby/placenta, and something about something else....all basically meaning WE'RE GOOD! Oh my gosh, when I heard the words "we have two" tears immediately swelled up in my eyes. I didn't even care about anything else. I just couldn't believe this news. Those little suckers lasted 4 days in the lab and grew on their own. All I know is that if we do get pregnant from this cycle, these kids are going to be some fighters.
I held back the bulk of my tears and continued to get ready for the transfer. We headed back to the room where the lights were low and this music was playing (Kellen mentioned it sounded like the stream on Netflix -- haha). It was very spa-like, minus the gyno appt. feeling and all the medical equipment sitting around. I had to walk to the window, which leads to the lab, and give my name and DOB. Then I had to saddle up on the table. Dr. Jarrett is so warm and calming. He has this way about him that is hard to explain, but his work is top level. We did transfer both blastocysts and within a matter of about 5 minutes, it was over. Dr. Jarrett grabbed my hand and wished me the best of luck. The doctor and nurses left the room and it was just Kellen and I, as I was to wait a few minutes before getting up. This is when I lost it. Have you ever had that overwhelming feeling like God just answered your prayers, and the hundreds of prayers from your friends and family? I couldn't believe that had just happened to me. Everyone who has followed this crazy story, and everyone who has said a prayer for us, I just want to hug you and tell you how much it truly means to me, and probably cry while I do it because it just means that much to me.
This process is something else. I'm so grateful for everyone who helps me get through it.
The next step is to wait. I continue to take 6 totals pills a day and one large shot at night. I'll go in to the lab, where the lady greets me by first name, on Jan 27th for a blood draw. They'll call me soon after to let me know what the results are. If they're positive, I'll go back in on the 29th for another blood draw. If this shows my levels to have risen, it means it's a healthy pregnancy.
God is oh so good.
Great news!! I'm sorry I didn't realize this at the shower today! Praying for Chloe to have a baby brother or sister.
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